EF – Blog

Friends are still friends, even if they are virtual. You can look for tips and techniques all day about how to get more friends and followers in social media, but chances are it’s not the things you aren’t doing, it’s the things you are doing that are costing you friends.

1. You treat them as a number. You can’t treat people as numbers. They aren’t just friend #541. They are part of your community, network, and life. Nobody wants to be a number, and they won’t stick around if you treat them that way.
2. You talk about yourself too much. There isn’t really much else to say here…Nobody wants to hear about everything you are doing all the time, except your mom. And even though she might be the one posting on your Facebook wall every day, she isn’t your only friend.
3. You don’t really want friends, you want attention. Friendship isn’t a means to an end, it’s an end in of itself. You have to be genuine when you build your networks. You can fool the right people for a short time, or the wrong people for a long time, but you can’t fool the right people for a long time.
4. You forget that they are real people. The people you connect with online are still people, and they need to be treated as such. They require attention, interest, support, and all the other human qualities we sometimes forget to consider in our online social interaction.
5. You never ask them what they think or want. Friends want to be involved in your life, that’s why they become your friends. It sounds simple, but simple things are usually the easiest to ignore, even though they are the most important.
6. You want lots of friends, not the right friends. You could have 100 wrong friends, and I could have 1 right friend, and I would gain way more from my friendship than you did from yours. Forget the numbers, it’s about context; quality not quantity.
7. You waste too much of their time and attention. The things you say and do can either strengthen your friendships or weaken them. Time is precious, and they won’t let you spend it on you if you aren’t worth it.
8. You forget about the friends you already have. Chances are, if you are reading this blog, you already have tons of friends in social media. Instead of looking for new friends, look to strengthen and expand the friendships you already have. There is always untapped potential in the assets we possess.
9. You aren’t as great of a friend as you think you are. You probably think you are doing pretty well for yourself. But what do other people think? Are there things you could be doing better to make your friendship more valuable and marketable than what it is now?
10. You don’t have social skills. Stop looking for advanced techniques to get your name out there. Focus on the fundamentals of what makes our society function, and what makes a good friend. Friendships are built from the ground up, so you better have a strong foundation before you even think about building a skyscraper.